Americans Thank God That Revolutionists Ignored His Commands About Giving Taxes To Caesar And Submitting To Authorities

Boston, MA - Revolve Church’s Lights & Liberty Fourth of July celebration provided a great opportunity for parishioners to rejoice over the freedom given them by the American Revolution.

​“Did God really say they had to submit to King George’s authority?  I mean, those insurrectionists understood that Romans 13:1 was written over 1,600 years ago,” remarked Claire Meadows, local resident.  “Paul is great, but he had no idea what it was like to live under the rule of an evil governmental leader."  

Benjamin Grouse, hot beverage enthusiast, stated, “Those tea drinkers were justified in dumping their tea in the harbor.  Why should they have to pay taxes to anyone if they believe they are too high?  Jesus was just being sarcastic when he mentioned taxes and Caesar.  Even if those American patriots bent the rules, the ends justify the means, right?”

At publishing time, Revolve was planning on ignoring 1 Timothy 3:2 and installing a female pastor.