Calvinist Parents Outraged After Daycare Offers Children Free Time

Chicago, IL - Little TULIPS Childcare, LLC, dealt with an unexpected controversy on Thursday when it was discovered they have been offering preschoolers 25 minutes of free time on a daily basis.
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​Mark Sandoval, 5-point Calvinist and father of 2, remarked, “Children should not be allowed to choose how they spend their time.  As their loving father I have to make sure they do not deviate from the plans I have for them.”

“I’ll be honest, I am having a tough time knowing how to handle discipline after the complaints,” stated Deborah Stills, childcare instructor (PK-Group A).  “Tommy Sandoval bludgeoned Avery with the tweezers from Operation last Tuesday, but his dad assured me that he was just doing what he had been raised to do.  So, no blame to be had, I guess.  His other child, Claire, is an angel.  He said he raised her to show kindness to others, but Tommy was raised to beat them to death.”

On a related note, teachers will no longer be sending home progress reports since there is no progress to be made.