Pride Month Controversy As Only Rectangular Flags Receiving Visibility

San Francisco, CA -  Behind the glitzy parades and family-friendly nude twerking, a new trend has emerged during the month of June.  Civil rights activists have noted what they call a “glaring absence” in representation of flags that identify as any shape other than a rectangle.

“The patriarchy loves making us think that the only appropriate shape for a flag is rectangular,” remarked Professor Jennifer Marks (it/textbook).  “All shapes should have the opportunity to represent the trans flag.  For far too long every other shape has been marginalized and deemed unworthy to contain the trans image.  And lesbian image.  And gay image.  And bisexual image. And…” 

(At the publishing of this article it was still listing various groups.)

Local seamstress Blanche Malone encouraged everyone to bring in their existing trans flags for top, bottom, and/or middle alterations.  “I will nip and tuck the flag into any shape you want.  It will cost about $80,000, but you cannot put a price tag on true expression. The procedure is available for all ages of flag, but I have noticed an increase in demand for changes to young flags.  Doesn’t make any difference to me; I ask as few questions as possible.”

​In a related note, Matt Hines, husband and father of four, was immediately fired from his job and canceled from multiple social media platforms for suggesting that the shape of a rectangle is typically used for flags so the entire image can be seen when the wind blows.