Ten Acceptable Reasons To Leave Your Church

1.  There is only one flavor of coffee.
     -  "If there was ever a time to not be mission-minded..."
2.  Tissues in the sanctuary contain lotion.
     - "Nothing like greasing my palms before a handshake."
3. There were three seconds of dead air between the third song and the greet your neighbor portion of service.
     - "So unprepared."
4.  Your church has a greet your neighbor portion of service.
     - "Scheduled spontaneity."
5.  Someone sat in your seat.
     - "Know your place, newbies."
6.  The pastor has not personally invited you to dinner.
     - "Jerk."
7.   You have not been asked to lead a ministry.
     - "No one appreciates my calling."
8.  The sound guy does not graciously accept the insights you provide.
     - "This doesn't sound as good as the time I saw Kenny Chesney at Neyland Stadium."
9.  The preacher tells you how to act outside the walls of the church.
     -  "I should leave encouraged, not convicted."
1o. Kids are expected to receive the majority of Biblical instruction from you, their parent.
     - "I'm too busy."

***If you have experienced any of these offenses it is past time for you to switch churches.  If they don't get you - they don't get you!

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